My Testimony — How I Came to Christ

By Michael Baker

Growing Up Around Christianity

I don’t remember knowing much about God or Jesus until I was about ten years old. That was when my parents became Christians and our family started attending church. Although both of my parents had been raised in Christian homes, Christianity hadn’t really been part of my understanding of life before then.

At twelve years old, I made what I believed was a commitment to Jesus Christ.

I continued attending church, sometimes twice every Sunday, and went to Sunday school until I was eighteen. I was also heavily involved in the Boys’ Brigade, where I was a respected and high-achieving member, eventually becoming a leader. In my late teens, I was baptised, believing that I was already a Christian.

From the outside, everything probably looked as though I was living a faithful Christian life.

But looking back now, I see things very differently.

Although I knew about God and believed I was saved, my heart had not truly changed. I could knowingly sin without feeling remorse. I wasn’t living a life of genuine repentance or obedience to Christ.

I had grown up surrounded by Christianity, but I had not truly surrendered my life to Jesus.

Turning My Back on God

As I grew older, my life began moving further away from the faith I had grown up with.

By my late twenties, I had turned my back on God completely. I even tried to convince myself that He didn’t exist.

At one point, I explored Wicca, searching for something spiritual while rejecting the very God I had learned about as a child.

I lived a life that I now look back on with deep regret.

Sexual immorality, filthy language and other sinful behaviours became normal to me. I gave little thought to how my actions affected others. Things that should have troubled my conscience didn’t seem to bother me at all.

I had convinced myself that I could live however I pleased.

Looking back, one of the most troubling things isn’t simply what I did. It’s how little remorse I felt while doing it.

Heartbreak, Loss and Despair

My adult life was marked by several painful relationships and broken marriages.

At twenty, I was engaged to a woman I loved dearly, but our relationship ended while she was expecting our child. I was heartbroken.

I later married, but that marriage ended in divorce after a relatively short time.

Years afterward, I married again, and we went on to have five beautiful children.

I love my children dearly, but I struggled with the responsibilities of family life. I often found it difficult to give each child the individual time, attention and affection they deserved.

Over the years, my marriage deteriorated. There was hurt, resentment and unhappiness, and eventually it ended.

The separation devastated me.

Losing my marriage was painful enough, but being separated from my children was something I found almost unbearable.

My circumstances became increasingly difficult. I spent years living in very modest accommodation, struggling with loneliness, financial pressures and the heartbreak of not being able to see my children as often as I wanted.

My mental health suffered terribly.

There were times when I seriously considered ending my own life. I reached a point where I felt completely hopeless and could no longer see a future worth living for.

But the thought of my children growing up knowing that their father had taken his own life held me back.

I had reached the lowest point of my life.

And yet, it was there, in that darkness, that everything began to change.

The Day I Cried Out to Jesus

After years of trying to deny God’s existence, I finally reached a point where I knew I could no longer help myself.

I was broken, exhausted and desperate.

And deep down, I knew there was only One I could turn to.

The Lord Jesus Christ.

The very Saviour I had spent so many years trying to deny was the One I now desperately needed.

I cried out to Him.

I asked Him to forgive me for the sinful life I had lived, for the things I had done, and for the ways I had failed others.

I committed my life to Jesus Christ.

But this time, it was different.

This wasn’t a commitment made simply because I attended church or had grown up in a Christian family. I wasn’t relying on baptism, religious activities or anything I had achieved.

I recognised that I was a sinner in need of God’s mercy, forgiveness and salvation.

I knew that Jesus Christ was my only hope.

And I placed my faith in Him.

A Song That Reflects My Conversion

There is a song by Michael W. Smith called Cry for Love that expresses so much of what I experienced when I finally turned to Jesus Christ.

After years of trying to live life my own way, I had reached a point where I could no longer carry the weight of everything that had happened. I was lost, broken and desperately in need of help. I knew I couldn’t save myself, and I finally cried out to the One I had spent so many years trying to deny.

When I listen to this song, I’m reminded of that moment when I surrendered my life to Christ and found the forgiveness, love and hope I had been missing for so long.

I wanted to share it here because its message reflects my own journey back to God.

Michael W. Smith — Cry for Love

A Changed Heart and a New Beginning

Shortly after turning back to Christ, I moved to Tahmoor in New South Wales to live with my elderly parents.

Over the years since then, my mental health has improved tremendously. I’ve gradually begun feeling like myself again, something I hadn’t experienced for more than thirty years.

But the greatest change hasn’t simply been in my circumstances.

It’s been in my heart.

Before coming to Christ, I could sin without giving it a second thought. Today, my attitude towards sin is completely different.

From the time of my conversion, I stopped using filthy language. I became much more conscious of what I watched, listened to and allowed into my thoughts.

Things I once enjoyed without concern now trouble my conscience.

When sinful thoughts or temptations arise, my desire is to turn to God immediately in prayer, asking for His forgiveness and help.

I now feel genuine remorse for the wrong things I do.

This doesn’t mean I’ve become perfect. Far from it.

I still face temptation. I still have weaknesses, and I still need God’s grace every single day.

But I no longer want to live the way I once lived.

I look back with sorrow at how my behaviour affected the people around me, particularly those I loved most.

I cannot change the past, but I can acknowledge my sins, seek God’s forgiveness and endeavour to live in obedience to Him from this day forward.

The words of 2 Corinthians 5:17 have become particularly meaningful to me:

“Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things have passed away. Behold, all things have become new.”

— 2 Corinthians 5:17 (WEBU)

Finding a Purpose in Serving God

As my life began to change, I started looking for meaningful ways to use my time.

Years earlier, I’d considered making lyric videos for YouTube. Eventually, I returned to that idea and began creating videos.

But after a while, I felt a growing desire to do something more meaningful.

I wanted to create something that might genuinely help people.

Something that could have an eternal impact.

I began creating short Scripture videos, originally under the name Daily Bible Quotes, sharing verses and encouragement from God’s Word.

As I learned more about Bible translations and their licensing requirements, I made changes to ensure that I could share Scripture responsibly, eventually adopting the World English Bible Updated translation.

Over time, my Christian projects developed into The Quiet Lamp and Bread for Today.

I don’t remember a particular day when I suddenly decided that sharing the Gospel was what I needed to do.

It was more a growing conviction within me.

I began to feel that the creative and technical abilities God had given me could be used for something far more important than entertainment.

They could be used to share His Word and point others towards Jesus Christ.

I don’t do this because I believe it will earn me salvation.

Salvation is a gift of God’s grace, received through faith in Jesus Christ, not something we can earn by our own works.

I do it because I am grateful for what Christ has done for me.

And because I want others to know the hope that I have found in Him.

A Message to Anyone Who Thinks They’re Beyond Forgiveness

If there’s one thing I want you to take away from my story, it’s this:

Please don’t believe that you’ve lived such a terrible life that God could never forgive you.

I spent years rejecting Him.

I knowingly sinned without remorse.

I hurt people I loved, made decisions I deeply regret, and eventually reached a point where I had almost lost the will to live.

Yet I came to understand that I could still turn to Jesus Christ and ask for His mercy.

I know from personal experience that we should never underestimate God’s willingness to forgive those who genuinely repent and place their faith in His Son.

Jesus did warn about the unforgivable sin, blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, as recorded in Mark 3:28–29. I take that warning seriously.

“Most certainly I tell you, all sins of the descendants of man will be forgiven, including their blasphemies with which they may blaspheme;

29 but whoever may blaspheme against the Holy Spirit never has forgiveness, but is subject to eternal condemnation.”

— Mark 3:28–29 (WEBU)

But I don’t want anyone reading my story to imagine that their past automatically puts them beyond the reach of God’s mercy.

No matter how far you’ve wandered, how many mistakes you’ve made or how ashamed you may feel, I encourage you to turn to Jesus Christ.

Don’t put your trust in being a good person, attending church, being baptised or performing religious works.

Put your trust in Jesus, who died for our sins and rose again.

Romans 10:13 tells us:

For, “Whoever will call on the name of the Lord will be saved.”

— Romans 10:13 (WEBU)

I’m not sharing my story because I believe I’m better than anyone else.

I’m sharing it because I know how desperately I needed God’s forgiveness, and I want others to discover the same hope I have found in Jesus Christ.

I cannot undo my past.

But by God’s grace, my past does not have to define my future.

And neither does yours.

— Michael Baker

Founder, The Quiet Lamp and Bread for Today